Thursday, 15 November 2007 | 10:28 pm
Please tell me why I read again?
Every girl is a romantic at heart. Okay maybe I'm just generalizing, I should say most girls want their prince charming to ride up in their Porsche, have ultra cool super powers and buy them shiny things (like Lexuses). Oh, most of us hide it well. We may say,
"No, you don't have to buy me roses for Valentines day!"
or,
"Do NOT under any circumstance buy me that $2500 diamond necklace I was drooling over in the jeweller's yesterday"
The truth?
We don't mean it.
I blame it all on romance novels. It's true I tell you! Women (me included) read those novels and sigh over all the same men who do everything perfectly (by the way, I have a huge crush on Mr. Dacry. What woman doesn't?). Reality bites hard does it not? It's because of these damn romance novels that women just set the bar higher. I'm being serious now. Females are all a bunch of insecure, fragile little creatures. If you aren't going to spend money on us then at least tell us you love us or we will melt into a lonely pool of grief and loneliness. Like me. Watch me pool at your feet.
I write this all to justify the fact that I have been single for a very, VERY long time. I will blame romance novels for setting my hopes up to high. I am trying very hard to think that maybe nobody on this planet finds me at all attractive except the creepy stalker dude who's in practically all my classes next year. Maybe I'm just really really cruel and will beat you off with a ten foot bargepole if you so much as attempt to ask me out. But then again, you'd deserve it if I haven't given you a single hint that I may possibly go out with you. You might be forgiven if I have flirted with you a teensy weensy bit, but I don't do that any more so there really aren't any excuses are there?
This is kind of turning into a rant. Bear with me for a sec.
GOD, the last person that sort of asked me out didn't even ask properly. He only said he would because he liked a friend who rejected him and I was his last resort. I hate being the freaking last resort I AM SO SICK OF IT. Needless to say I lost all respect for him. Guys that chop and change between friends for no other reason than that they are so desperate for a girlfriend they'd do ANYTHING are scum. SCUM! I told my friend to tell him not to bother and he didn't. GOOD RIDDANCE. JERK! YEAH THAT'S RIGHT! KEEP RUNNING!
I know what your thinking and I AM NOT A BITCH!
OMG I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANY!
I am a creep magnet! A CREEP MAGNET!!!! I DON'T WANT TO BE A CREEP MAGNET!!
*dies of heart attack*
I hate men,
Mel
Pee.ess - I am an angry, angry person. Beware or I will rip you in half with my bare hands. By the way, if your girlfriend asks you to buy her something, just do it. It will save you a lot of time because, HELL, you know she's going to get the money out of you anyway.
Pee.pee.ess - I realise I came of sounding very much like a materialistic bitch. It's not true. Alvin knows. I will only scam you out of money to see if you'd actually do it. If you agree, then why the hell not? I'd buy you lunch if you asked prettily too *flutters eyelashes*
"No, you don't have to buy me roses for Valentines day!"
or,
"Do NOT under any circumstance buy me that $2500 diamond necklace I was drooling over in the jeweller's yesterday"
The truth?
We don't mean it.
I blame it all on romance novels. It's true I tell you! Women (me included) read those novels and sigh over all the same men who do everything perfectly (by the way, I have a huge crush on Mr. Dacry. What woman doesn't?). Reality bites hard does it not? It's because of these damn romance novels that women just set the bar higher. I'm being serious now. Females are all a bunch of insecure, fragile little creatures. If you aren't going to spend money on us then at least tell us you love us or we will melt into a lonely pool of grief and loneliness. Like me. Watch me pool at your feet.
I write this all to justify the fact that I have been single for a very, VERY long time. I will blame romance novels for setting my hopes up to high. I am trying very hard to think that maybe nobody on this planet finds me at all attractive except the creepy stalker dude who's in practically all my classes next year. Maybe I'm just really really cruel and will beat you off with a ten foot bargepole if you so much as attempt to ask me out. But then again, you'd deserve it if I haven't given you a single hint that I may possibly go out with you. You might be forgiven if I have flirted with you a teensy weensy bit, but I don't do that any more so there really aren't any excuses are there?
This is kind of turning into a rant. Bear with me for a sec.
GOD, the last person that sort of asked me out didn't even ask properly. He only said he would because he liked a friend who rejected him and I was his last resort. I hate being the freaking last resort I AM SO SICK OF IT. Needless to say I lost all respect for him. Guys that chop and change between friends for no other reason than that they are so desperate for a girlfriend they'd do ANYTHING are scum. SCUM! I told my friend to tell him not to bother and he didn't. GOOD RIDDANCE. JERK! YEAH THAT'S RIGHT! KEEP RUNNING!
I know what your thinking and I AM NOT A BITCH!
OMG I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANY!
I am a creep magnet! A CREEP MAGNET!!!! I DON'T WANT TO BE A CREEP MAGNET!!
*dies of heart attack*
I hate men,
Mel
Pee.ess - I am an angry, angry person. Beware or I will rip you in half with my bare hands. By the way, if your girlfriend asks you to buy her something, just do it. It will save you a lot of time because, HELL, you know she's going to get the money out of you anyway.
Pee.pee.ess - I realise I came of sounding very much like a materialistic bitch. It's not true. Alvin knows. I will only scam you out of money to see if you'd actually do it. If you agree, then why the hell not? I'd buy you lunch if you asked prettily too *flutters eyelashes*