Friday, 8 June 2007 | 5:01 pm

You wanna see me get ugly huh? HUH?

So I'm sitting on the bus, innocently reading the ads (cleverly) placed on the roof right?

Some random crazy dude says: "You're ugly. You're so ugly I don't even want to harrass you, and I like harassing young girls. I get off on harassing young girls. I'll perve on Tara instead, even though she's got a black boyfriend!"

And I say...

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME UGLY? Grrrrr" (and making no attempt whatsoever to save Tara from the pedophile)

"You wanna fight me don't you? Come on then, bring it!"
I proceed to beat the crazy guy to a pulp.

"That's what you get for calling me ugly!" (um..."that's what you get for harassing my friends!" is what I MEANT to say...)

A few weeks later, when I look much hotter, the same guy tries to harass me (I mean...us)...

Me: "Oh, so you want me to rearrange your FACE again? Sure thing, I'd be happy to!"

Then the crazy guy pulls out a knife
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"Oh. Ummmm.....nevermind!"

Ok that's not really what happened. I just wanted to justify taking TWENTY SEVEN photos of myself making stupid faces. I was also mucking around with my eyeliner and kind of screwed up with my left eye so I turned it into something else...

It's cool! You're just jealous because you don't have a swirly thing!

My other eye is different because I was lazy and I drew flicky things on it in pencil :) Just so you know that I'm not completely self-absorbed, here is a picture of my earrings!

You like, you like?

With love (and how i LOVE myself),
Mel

Pee.ess - Tara, you know I'd throw myself in front of a moving train for you! But only if it doesn't wreck my hair, which Matt said was pretty again today. He's so sweet, I like him SO much the little suck-up.