Wednesday, 6 June 2007 | 7:20 pm

I hate this feeling (I hate YOU)

You look at me like I'm the dumbest, ugliest thing you've ever seen. You talk to me like I'm not worth the waste of breath, that's IF you talk to me at all. I know you had every right to be angry, but it was so long ago. How can I apologize to someone who won't even speak to me. I'm sorry...I'm SORRY! Why can't we just be friends? Why can't you just forgive me?

When I'm alone, I resolve to hate you. I promise myself that I'll walk away every time you are near. I'll stop trying to be your friend. Just stop...everything. But when you're around...oh...I can't do it. What right do you have to be so damn good-looking, it's so not fair.

Maybe it's for the best. Maybe we were meant to hate each other. I don't get it though, what makes me different from everyone else? Why choose me to hate, I'm sure there are people out there more annoying than I (though you'd be hard-pressed to actually find someone). Am I just not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, or all of the above? Or is it just that you don't care about me, even though I so obviously care about you?

I hate you! I hate you for making me feel vulnerable. I hate you for making me feel worthless. I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you...but I can't seem to get you out of my bloody head. I think I will crawl under a rock and die now. This is all your fault.

Thank God for retail therapy. I bought a pair of earrings and I felt so much better. Nice red ones to match my formal dress. Oh, I also have 2 blocks of chocolate, an entire tub of ice-cream and Bernie. Stuff you, I don't need you in my life.


Mel

Pee.ess - I don't really hate you...am I forgiven yet?