Friday, 15 June 2007 | 10:31 pm
Dreams
I'm in a bit of a reminiscing mood today. I feel like writing so everything can just pour out of me and I won't feel so guilty and mean and bad and and other words meaning guilty, mean and bad. Hah I bet most people stopped reading at the first sentence, I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. More on that later. I realise if I don't get to the point quickly, everyone will just die of boredom.
I was thinking about dreams today. Dreams I've had and most I wish to forget. I guess the book I just finished reading that I blogged about; just over half an hour ago; made me think of them. I also re-read that post about feeling sad because the person in my dream didn't care about me...and I remembered this other dream I had about the same person.
That song 'Botany Bay' is playing. Haha, I had to sing that in Primary school once, it's really sad because...oh never mind...
Aaaanyway, the dream happened about 3 years ago. I dreamed I was much older, returning to BHHS for our school reunion. Most of the details about the actual reunion have been forgotten, but I remember what happened afterwards. I was all alone in the school hall, with all the chairs packed away, rubbish strewn on the floor; discarded party hats and lots of streamers. There was a table with a computer on it right in the middle of the hall. It was already switched on and the screen showed the school registry. I remember typing in his name and waiting for the page to load. I had butterflies [on steroids] in my stomach. The screen loaded. There wasn't much to see. The person I was looking for had passed away in 2004 (which was the year I had the dream). After that, I woke up and for a second I though he really WAS dead and I nearly cried. But only for a second. I didn't cry.
There was another one just this year, about my dad. I dreamed that I was overseas, in university. Right in the middle of a lecture I got a phone call telling me he'd died suddenly of a heart attack. I felt so guilty for leaving everyone behind. I started crying and when I woke up I was still crying. But I could hear my dad snoring in the other room so then I just felt silly. Man, I'm so morbid. But don't blame me!
When I was about 5, my parents went to see a fortune teller for fun, and I kept bugging them about what the fortune teller had said. My dad jokingly said the fortune teller told him he was going to die at 49 in a horrific car crash. HOLY MOLEY! You don't tell things like that to a kid! I used to stay up nights waiting to hear the car come home just to make sure he was still alive. I still have to wait for everyone to come home before I can relax, or even THINK about sleeping.
There's something else I've been thinking about since Thursday because our car was covered in ice. Could we survive the next ice age? My dad and I both think we probably could. Obviously, lots of people would die, but our technology is advanced enough to determine WHEN said ice age will be, and HOW to survive. I was amusing myself thinking that Mother Nature would be in for the surprise of her life. She would probably expect us all to be wiped out in a freeze-dried frenzy. I BET she even SENT the ice age along herself, hoping we'd die and stop raping her natural resources and fucking the Earth up (oh, I'm so [not] funny). She'd probably sit there laughing her sneaky way of righting all our wrongs. Then after the big melt, us poor humans would come out of our time-capsules or deep heat humidifying thermal thingamajigs buried three hundred thousand gazillion kilometres down and continue to screw up all her hard work. I wonder what she'd say..."OH FUCK, I thought they were dead"?
Wow, I think that's enough expletives for one day. I swear a lot in my head. None of those swear words ever cross my lips though, so lucky you. Hah, don't get me wrong, I don't want to die, I don't want ANYONE to die. But just knowing there's a time limit on life makes you appreciate HAVING a life all the more.
With love,
Mel
Pee.ess - For those of you who skipped the big scary words and went straight to the postscript; the moral of the story is: don't get bored, people don't want to hear about your life and the 50 000 cats you spend it with. Take it from the expert (moi) in causing Death by Intense Boredom. Learn from my mistakes people, LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES. Ok, Goodnight.
I was thinking about dreams today. Dreams I've had and most I wish to forget. I guess the book I just finished reading that I blogged about; just over half an hour ago; made me think of them. I also re-read that post about feeling sad because the person in my dream didn't care about me...and I remembered this other dream I had about the same person.
That song 'Botany Bay' is playing. Haha, I had to sing that in Primary school once, it's really sad because...oh never mind...
Aaaanyway, the dream happened about 3 years ago. I dreamed I was much older, returning to BHHS for our school reunion. Most of the details about the actual reunion have been forgotten, but I remember what happened afterwards. I was all alone in the school hall, with all the chairs packed away, rubbish strewn on the floor; discarded party hats and lots of streamers. There was a table with a computer on it right in the middle of the hall. It was already switched on and the screen showed the school registry. I remember typing in his name and waiting for the page to load. I had butterflies [on steroids] in my stomach. The screen loaded. There wasn't much to see. The person I was looking for had passed away in 2004 (which was the year I had the dream). After that, I woke up and for a second I though he really WAS dead and I nearly cried. But only for a second. I didn't cry.
There was another one just this year, about my dad. I dreamed that I was overseas, in university. Right in the middle of a lecture I got a phone call telling me he'd died suddenly of a heart attack. I felt so guilty for leaving everyone behind. I started crying and when I woke up I was still crying. But I could hear my dad snoring in the other room so then I just felt silly. Man, I'm so morbid. But don't blame me!
When I was about 5, my parents went to see a fortune teller for fun, and I kept bugging them about what the fortune teller had said. My dad jokingly said the fortune teller told him he was going to die at 49 in a horrific car crash. HOLY MOLEY! You don't tell things like that to a kid! I used to stay up nights waiting to hear the car come home just to make sure he was still alive. I still have to wait for everyone to come home before I can relax, or even THINK about sleeping.
There's something else I've been thinking about since Thursday because our car was covered in ice. Could we survive the next ice age? My dad and I both think we probably could. Obviously, lots of people would die, but our technology is advanced enough to determine WHEN said ice age will be, and HOW to survive. I was amusing myself thinking that Mother Nature would be in for the surprise of her life. She would probably expect us all to be wiped out in a freeze-dried frenzy. I BET she even SENT the ice age along herself, hoping we'd die and stop raping her natural resources and fucking the Earth up (oh, I'm so [not] funny). She'd probably sit there laughing her sneaky way of righting all our wrongs. Then after the big melt, us poor humans would come out of our time-capsules or deep heat humidifying thermal thingamajigs buried three hundred thousand gazillion kilometres down and continue to screw up all her hard work. I wonder what she'd say..."OH FUCK, I thought they were dead"?
Wow, I think that's enough expletives for one day. I swear a lot in my head. None of those swear words ever cross my lips though, so lucky you. Hah, don't get me wrong, I don't want to die, I don't want ANYONE to die. But just knowing there's a time limit on life makes you appreciate HAVING a life all the more.
With love,
Mel
Pee.ess - For those of you who skipped the big scary words and went straight to the postscript; the moral of the story is: don't get bored, people don't want to hear about your life and the 50 000 cats you spend it with. Take it from the expert (moi) in causing Death by Intense Boredom. Learn from my mistakes people, LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES. Ok, Goodnight.