rain on me
Friday, 29 June 2007 | 9:31 pm

My new favourite movie!

I just watched My Sassy Girl because Ying said I was like the main character. Hey, does that mean...I'm SASSY? I better go look that up in the dictionary.

"n. pl. sas·sies
A western African tree (Erythrophleum suaveolens) of the pea family, having bark that yields a poison and wood that is used for construction. Also called sasswood, sassy bark."

Hmmmm, I'm pretty sure that's not it. What about...

adj. sas·si·er, sas·si·est
  1. Rude and disrespectful; impudent.
  2. Lively and spirited; jaunty.
  3. Stylish; chic: a sassy little hat.
Yeah, sounds like me. Maybe I should put sassygirl! on my rugby top next year.

It is an AMAZING movie. It's great because it has a perfect balance between romance and humor. It's my favourite movie now, I didn't have one before, BUT I DO NOW! Everybody has to watch it! Oh, if anybody has a copy of it, with subtitles, PRETTY PLEASE give me?!?

I'm planning on going ice skating next Thursday! If you're interested, LET ME KNOW! I'm so excited, it's the school holidays and I want to do so much stuff. I was so excited, I sang, danced and yelled all day today. I probably won't get a chance to do them all but who cares? Planning is so much fun! The only downside is hat Tara and Kymbat aren't here! Tara leaves tomorrow for Malaysia and Kymbat left for Kyrgyzstan on Monday. I miss them already!

With love,
Mel

Pee.ess - I'm typing this while I'm watching the opening of Clueless. Alicia Silverstone is SO pretty! Brittany Murphy looks chubby, she sure has lost a lot of weight! It's really weird...

Wednesday, 27 June 2007 | 10:16 pm

Mr. Thayalan's Birthday!

Today was Tara's dad's birthday. I called him to wish him a happy birthday because on MY birthday, he tried calling me when he found out my parents were away. Tara thought I was Ashwyn. I laughed a lot.

Watched a Teresa Teng concert in Chinese. It was hilarious because she sang Flash Dance, Beat it and I'll be watching you in a funny fobby accent. Fishman and I sang along and everyone looked at us weirdly. I had my Methods SAC! Didn't quite finish, but its okay, not TOO bad. After the SAC, Tara, Ashwyn, Rowena, Ying, Fishman and I hopped on the bus. Rowena and Ying went off to do their own thing and that left four of us waiting for buses. Fishman has a sudden addiction to the Grease soundtrack, probably because of the formal. Now I'm singing "You're the one that I want" repeatedly and it's getting kind of annoying.

Grease Medley

It was at this point, at the formal when the DJ was remixing all these Grease songs that I realized I was dancing with a bunch of boys and freaked out lolz. Grease Lightning! Tim and I were doing that arm gesture thing. You'll know what I'm talking about when you watch it. That bit when they're all on the car. Haha, we would've looked so funny!

I want to watch Grease again and I want to be at my formal again! Maybe I'll just download the soundtrack so I can relive all those crazy moments again! Yay!

With love,
Mel

Tuesday, 26 June 2007 | 8:57 pm

"The Stalker Poem par excellence"

a.k.a The Apparition by John Donne

We had to read this for literature. I said, "it's like Audrey and Long" but nobody knew what I was talking about. The poem is about a guy suffering from self-pity and unrequited love and now he's stalking the girl that rejected him. HAHA, just like Audrey and Long.

WHEN by thy scorn, O murd'ress, I am dead,

And that thou thinkst thee free
From all solicitation from me,
Then shall my ghost come to thy bed,
And thee, feign'd vestal, in worse arms shall see :
Then thy sick taper will begin to wink,
And he, whose thou art then, being tired before,
Will, if thou stir, or pinch to wake him, think
Thou call'st for more,
And, in false sleep, will from thee shrink :
And then, poor aspen wretch, neglected thou
Bathed in a cold quicksilver sweat wilt lie,
A verier ghost than I.
What I will say, I will not tell thee now,
Lest that preserve thee ; and since my love is spent,
I'd rather thou shouldst painfully repent,
Than by my threatenings rest still innocent.

It's their poem now. Audrey rejected him today, which is good because hopefully he'll stop stalking her. Or maybe he'll start now, who knows? I'm no stranger to being mean to boys. Today I punched Rohan for saying something annoying. It's funny because I surprise people with the strength of my punches. I bet all the guys I know have been on the receiving end of said abuse at least once. In band, Rohan had a ball of pink play dough and was sculpting it into faces on the bell of his saxophone. He wanted to have a pink droopy mustache but it wouldn't stick to his face. I suggested he stick it to the mouthpiece of the sax and when he played it looked hilarious! I guess you just had to have been there...

I had a Chinese SAC today, tomorrow I have a Methods SAC! I should probably study chapter 6 now, but I can't be bothered. I think I'll sleep early and study tomorrow because my head hurts and I'm feeling kind of dead.

I'll tell you something funny that happened yesterday though! As most of you already know, Ying and I have take turns to see who has to sit next to biohazard boy in biology. I usually sit with him on Mondays, which means Ying has to sit with him in the double on Friday. Anyway, yesterday I pointed this out and we raced each other giggling and shoving people out of the way up the stairs. I won. It nearly cost me my life because I ran into the back of someone and bounced off.

Man, I really feel like eating. I've been eating so much these past few days, I feel kind of bloated. Maybe I should stop my incessant snacking and do something productive like...go for a jog or something. I don't get it! Why do I all of a sudden need to eat eat eat EAT EAT. It's nearly holidays, I'm going to eat SO much.

Love,
Mel

Saturday, 23 June 2007 | 4:52 pm

FORMAL!


I have been counting down the day for ages and ages and ages! Wow. It was so good. It was absolutely AMAZING. I had so much fun, laughed so much, and danced till my feet had blisters. It was great.

Rowena, Alan and I all went together and my dad's um...Statesman. I thought we were going to be late because i still hadn't done my nails by the time we were supposed to leave the house. That's why they look so weird, but in the dark you can't really tell. I have no idea how I'm going to get them off!

Me, Dylan and Tara waiting in the reception area

Dylan, Me, Alan and Tara. I look short because I was crouching ok?

We weren't allowed into the main area for awhile and it was FREEZING COLD so I refused to take off my jacket. Wow, everything is such a blur now even though it was only last evening. We danced a lot. I was happy and laughing and chatting and a super good mood.

The food wasn't anything special. For entrees we had some kind of vegetarian filo pasty wrap thing. Main course was either chicken or lamb. Haha, the waiter was just randomly handing the plates out, when he got to me, he asked if I wanted lamb or chicken and I said lamb, so he handed the last plate he was holding (chicken) to Ying without asking her what she wanted! HAHAHAHA. Funny. I maintain that it was because I looked like a fussy rich person. But then another waitress came and plonked chicken down in front of me so I just tried to eat it. Halfway through, I realised the lamb tasted WAY better than the chicken so I got Yen Nie to swap with me because she wanted chicken. By then I was getting really full and tried to palm of some of my mash potatoes to Ying who promptly handed them back. Then Tim asked me to go dance and I said I would if he ate me lamb. He did so I danced. I totally tricked people into eating my food! The dessert was ok, apart from Chris, I was the only one on the table to finish it. I feel like such a pig. I should stop comfort eating, it's bad for my health.

Oooh yeah, chocolate mousse with chocolate on top. Very sweet...

When I wasn't eating, I was in the bathroom freezing my toes, dancing, looking for Dylan with Tara (did that THREE times) and hunting for bandaids. Mostly dancing though. At some point, my stomach started to hurt from eating too much, but I just danced it off like a man. Haha Tim and I were going crazy.

Ahh! I was recruiting people to dance with us and I grabbed Dhanish by the arm and dragged him to the dance floor. He TRIPPED on my and then stepped straight onto my right foot. I just measured the BRUISE he left on my foot, it's about 5 x 4 cm. I'm not kidding. This happened pretty early on so my foot was caning so badly to start off with but I kept dancing because I knew I would regret it if I didn't. After about, 3 hours of dancing, my feet were starting to really hurt from the heels. It was alright when I was dancing, but walked was TORTUROUS. OMG, WE DID THE NUTBUSH. My feet hurt so badly, I kept missing steps because I couldn't stop thinking about it. Tim was behind me muttering the steps under his breath to remind me. Haven't done the Nutbush since Grade 6 lol! Jeremy and Tara were in the row next to us and the looked hilarious, I shudder to think at what I looked like with my heels in hand and skirt hitched up to tremendous heights.

After the marathon run of Nutbush, I staggered off to put my shoes back on and get a drink of water. At the table, I had a proper conversation with Chris' cousin. Yeah, I saw him in the reception and thought he looked pretty good but I had NO IDEA who he was. I SWEAR, I would not have looked at him if I had known to whom he was related. He was also with his girlfriend so hahaha. Yeah I was totally secretly checking him out. Oh come on! He was the only Asian guy I didn't recognize! I asked Chris what his name was but he told me to ask him myself. So I did. It's Eric, but he has a girlfriend and he's WAY too old. I asked him why he wasn't dancing with his girlfriend and he said she was 'talking to her friends' which really meant talking to this white guy. Then he said he and I should dance together to make her jealous. Needless to say, I made a hasty retreat and went back to dancing. He's not a bad person really, he was just kidding! Eh, don't tell him I blogged about him ok Chris?

Me and Ying! We look so growned up!

Tara and I

Yen Nie and Chris, with that idiot Jeremy getting between the happy couple...BASTARD

Chan and Ying took Kymbat and I back to Rowena's place for the sleepover. The two cars got there first, people in the limo came last. Rowena had a cake from Michel's Patisserie because it was Jeremy's birthday and we were going to surprise him. When we heard the doorbell, I accidentally walked into Rowena while holding a cup of hot [now cold] chocolate. Thankfully the chocolate spill missed her but ended up splashing it all over the floor. I'm such an unco. Jeremy looked like he was about to cry because he realized he had friends who threw him surprise parties. I'm the only one who ate a slice of cake. I'm such a pig.

All in all, there were 11 people I think. Tara, Ashwyn, Rowena, Jeremy, Chan, Ying, Kymbat, Ros, Audrey, Yen Nie and....me. Aww, I feel like such an 11th wheel. Everything bad is eleventh. Like, eleventh hour. :( We watched The Professional, which I predicted the ending to so it wasn't that good. Everyone ended up sleeping at around 4:30. Everyone except me. I lay there for ages, repeating in my head the mantra 'go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep'. I tossed and turned, trying to find the right position. I read the newspaper, drank sinking Titanic-loads of water, I tried deep-breathing and bloody meditation. All to no fucking avail. I was kind of half-asleep when I heard the toilet flush. I thought it was Rowena's cousin or dad or something. Then the stupid door to the living room opened and the room was flooded with light. I didn't have my glasses on so I had no idea who it was. I was waiting to see where this person would go so I would know who it was. He crawled right back into bed with Rowena so I knew it was JEREMY. Stupid bastard. Ruined my only chance of sleeping for the entire night. So I got up, went to the toilet. Lay in bed. Got up again. Checked my phone for the time. Went back to bed. Checked my phone again. All the while, Jeremy and Rowena were whispering and SOMEONE was snoring. Then Ashwyn's alarm clock went off at 7:00 so a bunch of us got up and talked. After awhile I tried to go back to bed but Ashwyn kept TALKING. He just would not shut up. I thought there would be silence when he left but NO. ROS decided to REPLACE Ashwyn with the chatter. If you hadn't noticed, they both have pretty high-pitched voices so I ended up not sleeping.

After everyone was up, Jeremy and Rowena tried to go back to sleep, separately this time, but I refused to let Jeremy sleep because HE didn't let ME sleep. He hates me now, but I don't care because he's really mean to me. Bastard.

I didn't sleep last night. I haven't slept since my parents picked me up at 11:30. I drove around, went to Yumcha and now I'm tired. My eyes are getting blurry and I think I'm going to have a shower before I collapse into bed. I'm kind of depressed, no sleep does that to you. I have this terrible sense of impending doom and it peaks at around my birthday. That's AGES away, but the feeling is getting stronger. I so don't want to die. I like living and dancing and all that stuff you can do when you're not buried six feet under. I want to be able to look back on my life and not regret lost chances and things I should have done. Well screw that. I give up. I don't usually give up that easily but I'm writing this here so you can hold me to my word. I'm going to do what I should have done AGES ago. I'M GIVING UP ON YOU, YOU BAKAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~!

I've watched too many episodes of Hana Yori Dango. HAHAHA Shower and bed time for me!

Love,
Mel

Friday, 22 June 2007 | 12:58 pm

Preparation

The formal is tonight! So much to do and so little time. I've written down a list of everything and theres only..6 hours to do it in! Ok, I've fixed the straps on my dress already. I've found my heels, lurking in a dark shadowy corner. I have to pack for the sleepover, find my sleeping bag, vacuum the car, make Jeremy's birthday card because it's his birthday today (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!), shower, remove all visible hair from the neck down, do my makeup, hair then nails on feet and hands. I'm going to die. This is going to take AGES. The things we do for beauty....

I'm off to vacuum the car. I'll post a proper formal update later!

With as much love as a busy little bumblebee has time to offer,
Mel

----------edit----------
My dad is going to kill me. I just drove his precious Statesmen out of the garage by myself and reversed straight into a brick wall. HAHAHAHA just kidding. I got it out of the garage and onto the lawn without a hitch, no crashing, no scratches, easy peasy! Now I just gotta clean it and put it back without him noticing. I'm so dead.

Tuesday, 19 June 2007 | 2:42 pm

Passing time

Yeah, I'm pretty pathetic. I started watching TWO new Asian dramas this weekend. The first one is a Japanese one called Hana Yori Dango. It's about this penniless girl attending Eitoku Academy which is an upper-class school devoted to the rich. There, she is terrorized by F4, a group of four boys who are the richest and most dominant in the school. Think Ouran High School Host Club except less funny, not anime and the boys aren't hosts. My only problem with it is that the members of F4 look like girls. I'm willing to put up with that though, because it's actually pretty good, and VERY to the point (being only nine episodes long).

I finished watching the first season. I use this site called crunchyroll.com which is very useful. You can stream the episodes just like you can on Youtube, except it's much more organized and completely devoted to Asian dramas. The only problem is that you can't stream it once download exceeds the hosts bandwidth for the day. If you want to watch it better you have to pay and I'm too cheap! I started watching the first episode of the second season but stupid bandwidth ran out.

I would have watched Hana Yori Dango II on Youtube but it only has the anime, not the drama, and I don't want to watch Meteor Garden instead. So, every time I can't watch Hana Yori Dango on crunchyroll, I switch to Youtube and watch Taiwanese drama Love Contract (愛情合約) with Ariel Lin (It started with a kiss) and Mike He (Devil Beside You). Yeah yeah ok, I only started watching because Mike He is in it and he's really hot! It's actually not that bad though, I'm halfway through episode 2 and I still have 18 more to go.

Haha, it sounds like I watch a lot of asian drama, but I don't really! The only other drama I've watched that I haven't named here is Ichi Rittoru no Namida (One Litre of Tears). That one is VERY good, based on a true story about a girl with muscular atrophy. I cried pretty much in every episode. It was unbelievably sad.

I'm not really and anime fan, apart from Ouran, I've only seen Suzuka, which was Chris' demonstration of serious anime. Dylan, this white boy in my methods class is trying to get me to watch Bleach and Prince of Tennis but I pass, I'm so sick of looking at cartoon characters. It's so hard to have a crush on them (Kyouya and Darien a.k.a Tuxedo Mask anyone?) without people laughing at you! Give me a real man ANY DAY!

Oooh, speaking of real men, I watched the first episode of Torchwood yesterday. Captain Jack Harkness? Yeah, I was curious so I watched it. It was very interesting, but their comments seemed too, scripted...if you know what i mean. His one liners are so...ok I can't describe it. There's just something wrong with the things he says. Like, everything that comes out of his mouth is a quotable quote you know? Harkness is just so bloody, SMOOTH! It's unnatural. I will probably still watch it though, it's kind of like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel with marble-statuesque men and supernatural behaviour. Mmm....

I don't have a life.

With love,
Mel

Pee.ess - The best way to get over unrequited love is to watch loads of drama's with super hot guys in them. Seriously, once you see what you're missing out on, you'll totally raise your expectations. That guy you've been pining for (who is so obviously gay if he doesn't like you back) is nothing compared to those perfect male specimens in Asian drama. Ok, this might cause problems in the long run, but HEY, live for the moment. GAHAHAHA I'm just kidding, he probably IS gay though...

Sunday, 17 June 2007 | 5:56 pm

Blue is for...not me

Haha I had an interesting day yesterday, I just didn't blog about it. Where do you think I was at 1:30 on a fine Saturday afternoon?
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At an accordion competition! As in the accordion with a the pleated bellow like thing, buttons on one side an keys on the other? You know?

Voila! An accordion!

*sigh* The poor under-educated people at Chinese school had NO IDEA what it was. Seriously, I asked both of the people sitting next to me if they knew what I was talking about and they just gave me quizzical looks. They do that a lot, because I talk a lot and I mostly don't make sense.

The reason I was at an accordion concert was because that morning I had my piano lesson. Make any sense yet? No? Well my teacher Basil and his wife Juliette both play the accordion, in FACT, his wife teaches accordion. Some of her students were playing as an ensemble in the concert and their regular keyboardist had her piano exam yesterday so I was the temporary fill-in. I was so nervous because I'd never seen the music before, but I managed fine! That doesn't mean I didn't have to sit through THREE HOURS of accordion playing.

There was this ONE kid that was SO cute. His accordion was like, the same size as him. When you looked at him, it was like his black accordion had grown feet and a head because that was all you could see.

Ok, I'm off!

With love,
Mel

Friday, 15 June 2007 | 10:31 pm

Dreams

I'm in a bit of a reminiscing mood today. I feel like writing so everything can just pour out of me and I won't feel so guilty and mean and bad and and other words meaning guilty, mean and bad. Hah I bet most people stopped reading at the first sentence, I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. More on that later. I realise if I don't get to the point quickly, everyone will just die of boredom.

I was thinking about dreams today. Dreams I've had and most I wish to forget. I guess the book I just finished reading that I blogged about; just over half an hour ago; made me think of them. I also re-read that post about feeling sad because the person in my dream didn't care about me...and I remembered this other dream I had about the same person.

That song 'Botany Bay' is playing. Haha, I had to sing that in Primary school once, it's really sad because...oh never mind...

Aaaanyway, the dream happened about 3 years ago. I dreamed I was much older, returning to BHHS for our school reunion. Most of the details about the actual reunion have been forgotten, but I remember what happened afterwards. I was all alone in the school hall, with all the chairs packed away, rubbish strewn on the floor; discarded party hats and lots of streamers. There was a table with a computer on it right in the middle of the hall. It was already switched on and the screen showed the school registry. I remember typing in his name and waiting for the page to load. I had butterflies [on steroids] in my stomach. The screen loaded. There wasn't much to see. The person I was looking for had passed away in 2004 (which was the year I had the dream). After that, I woke up and for a second I though he really WAS dead and I nearly cried. But only for a second. I didn't cry.

There was another one just this year, about my dad. I dreamed that I was overseas, in university. Right in the middle of a lecture I got a phone call telling me he'd died suddenly of a heart attack. I felt so guilty for leaving everyone behind. I started crying and when I woke up I was still crying. But I could hear my dad snoring in the other room so then I just felt silly. Man, I'm so morbid. But don't blame me!

When I was about 5, my parents went to see a fortune teller for fun, and I kept bugging them about what the fortune teller had said. My dad jokingly said the fortune teller told him he was going to die at 49 in a horrific car crash. HOLY MOLEY! You don't tell things like that to a kid! I used to stay up nights waiting to hear the car come home just to make sure he was still alive. I still have to wait for everyone to come home before I can relax, or even THINK about sleeping.

There's something else I've been thinking about since Thursday because our car was covered in ice. Could we survive the next ice age? My dad and I both think we probably could. Obviously, lots of people would die, but our technology is advanced enough to determine WHEN said ice age will be, and HOW to survive. I was amusing myself thinking that Mother Nature would be in for the surprise of her life. She would probably expect us all to be wiped out in a freeze-dried frenzy. I BET she even SENT the ice age along herself, hoping we'd die and stop raping her natural resources and fucking the Earth up (oh, I'm so [not] funny). She'd probably sit there laughing her sneaky way of righting all our wrongs. Then after the big melt, us poor humans would come out of our time-capsules or deep heat humidifying thermal thingamajigs buried three hundred thousand gazillion kilometres down and continue to screw up all her hard work. I wonder what she'd say..."OH FUCK, I thought they were dead"?

Wow, I think that's enough expletives for one day. I swear a lot in my head. None of those swear words ever cross my lips though, so lucky you. Hah, don't get me wrong, I don't want to die, I don't want ANYONE to die. But just knowing there's a time limit on life makes you appreciate HAVING a life all the more.

With love,
Mel

Pee.ess - For those of you who skipped the big scary words and went straight to the postscript; the moral of the story is: don't get bored, people don't want to hear about your life and the 50 000 cats you spend it with. Take it from the expert (moi) in causing Death by Intense Boredom. Learn from my mistakes people, LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES. Ok, Goodnight.

| 9:18 pm

If you could see me now...

Audrey lent me the book If You Could See Me Now by Cecelia Ahern. She says she only cried once. Well let me tell you, I've been a gushing fountain of tears since about...Chapter 5 or so. I haven't quite finished, but at around Chapter 5, I predicted what was going to happen and I've been crying ever since. Let me tell you, that's a lot of crying.

My face and eyes have gone all red. My nose looks like a giant tomato about to explode. Everything is puffy. It's even more unattractive than it sounds to be honest. I should stop crying...but I can't. *sigh*. Have a read of this:

"When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it's completely silent. You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest sound in the world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a symbol or the ringing of a bell. But it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.

If there is a noise, it's internal. It screams and no one can hear it but you. It screams so loud your ears ring and your head aches. It thrashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea; it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. That's what it looks like and that's what it sounds like, a thrashing, panicking, trapped great big beast, roaring like a prisoner to it's own emotions. But that's the thing about love - no one is untouchable. It's as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but when it actually breaks, it's silent. You're just screaming on the inside and no one can hear it." - If You Could See Me Now by Cecelia Ahern

Now tell me your heart didn't just break reading that? I sense a trend with Cecelia Ahern. Thanks to lovely Audrey, I also read one of her other books, Where Rainbows End which was really sad. What is it with her and heart-breaking novels? If you're a girl [or guy that likes romance], I DO suggest you go read them both if you don't know what I'm talking about. Chan told me they were planning on making If You Could See Me Now into a movie with Hugh Jackman playing one of the lead roles as Ivan. I definitely want to check that out even though I will probably have to cover my face to mask my tell-tale red nose and puffy eyes.

Ok, I admit I only started typing this entry so that I would stop crying long enough for me to run to the kitchen and get a drink of water. My eyes are still puffy and red, so I might just talk about my day.

Depressing.

Did nothing. I got 83% on my chemistry exam though which isn't too bad. I feel guilty though, because I didn't work all that hard for it...so I feel as if I didn't really earn it. Now I'm hungry. I think I will go for that glass of water now.

With love,
Mel

Thursday, 14 June 2007 | 6:05 pm

The Gat

I went to school at about 9 so I wouldn't be late for the GAT. I dropped off my painfully overdue books at the library then sat with Audrey, Jeremy, Chris, Ying and Chan playing Big 2. I got bored watching them play a game I don't understand so I went back up to the library and borrowed Anna Karenin by Leo Tolstoy. Apparently it's one of the most famous novels of all time so I figured I'd have to read it eventually.

The GAT was long and boring. I took my time and was practically the last person of our group out. It got to a point where the questions were become tedious so I just guessed the ones I couldn't be stuffed working out (all the maths ones by the way). When I got out, Ashwyn asked if I wanted to go to Eastland because Tara was going too. Yeah, Yen Nie asked me last night but I didn't really want to go because there weren't that many people going. I had to stuff my lunch in my mouth because I didn't want to carry the giant container haha.

The people who ended up going were: Yen Nie, Chris, Audrey, Rowena, Chan, Ying, Tara, Ashwyn and Jeremy. Ashwyn and Jeremy were SO SLOW getting off the train and Tara wanted to wait for them to cross the road so I waited with her. They were half way across the road so Tara and I started walking. We both danced to the music coming from one of the shops and got all giggly and distracted. Turned around, NO JEREMY OR ASHWYN. We waited for a bit and couldn't find them so I just said we should go without them. Turns out they doubled back and went the long way around just to spite us! Meanies.

We tried to stick together, but the guys could only think of their stomachs so they wandered off to get food and the girls looked in Gas. That place is so pink it burnt my eyes. But it has the coolest jewelry stands and tiaras :) Tara, Rowena and I went off to look at I-can't-remember-what. We met up with the guys and forced Ashwyn into trying on suits. Guys always look hotter in suits. I'm not just saying Ashwyn...EW...but as a general rule, most guys look better in a suit. That's all.

Then ALL of us looked for a present for Sarah for Ashwyn and Jeremy. Geez, they were willing to spend 60 bucks between them and they STILL didn't know what to get her. They bought her a black and grey Guess wallet after Rowena suggested it. The shop ladies there were very helpful, but I'm pretty sure they didn't like me. I have this problem where I'm scared of shop keepers and manage to convince myself they don't like me.

Then I went and bought a bag! I was trying to decide which one to buy so it took me AGES then Jeremy blamed me for him missing the bus. NOT MY FAULT! Eventually, all of us except Chris caught the train back to Box Hill. The trip was pretty uneventful. Rowena and Ashwyn kept whispering and giggling. I was kind of tired so I [almost] stopped talking after awhile. Tara and Jeremy were both pretty quiet.

At Box Hill, Ashwyn stayed on the train, Rowena went off to meet her Balwyn friends, Tara, Jeremy and I went to catch the bus. Jeremy went off to catch a different bus. Tara and I crammed onto this tiny little bus and she came over to my place. After she went home I tried on my formal dress so I could measure how long to make the straps. I know I am somehow going to stuff this up. I haven't cut the satin ribbon yet and I'm scared to in case I mess up and ruin the dress. I keep trying to tell myself nothing will happen, and I have 2m of the damn stuff but it's not working.

*sigh* I guess I better go do that now...or I could just read Anna Karenin instead. Good idea...

With love,
Mel

Pee.ess - Today was a good day. A good happy smiley day. I like days like today.

Tuesday, 12 June 2007 | 3:11 pm

Cough

Mum just got home with Benadryl for my bad throat and cough. "Great Banana Flavour" it says enthusiastically on the front. As if I'm not sick enough already. I guess it's there as a precaution - so little kids don't try and OD on the stuff. That's pretty clever.

My brother used to love the taste of medicine. He'd pretend to be sick so he could drink the stuff all the time. The beginnings of a drug-abuser (or hypochondriac) if you ask me. He doesn't do that anymore, which is lucky because some of the stuff in the medicine closet expired in 1999.

My mum also bought "Honey Lemon Sugar Free Difflam Anti-Inflammatory Anti-Bacterial Lozenges". They're supposed to stop you from coughing. Pretty pointless really because I nearly choked to death trying to say the name of the thing. It also says the maximum dosage per day is 12 lozenges. Wonder what happens if you take more than that. I could probably test my theory out on my brother.

OMG, I just opened the packet. The cough lozenges are FLUORESCENT YELLOW! They taste pretty good though. Oh, anti-bacterial goodness, I can feel it working it's magic on my throat. *audible eye roll*

Back to Hamlet essay with me. If I have to hear anymore of Mayo's lame jokes, I WILL try and overdose on "Honey Lemon Sugar Free Difflam Anti-Inflammatory Anti-Bacterial Lozenges". Clever Mel, real clever. Outsmarting the system, yup that's me.

Love,
Mel


Pee.ess - OMG MY THROAT HAS GONE NUMB! Is that supposed to happen?

Monday, 11 June 2007 | 11:05 am

Boys Like Girls

Can't decide which song I like better...

The Great Escape


or...
Hero/Heroine


So hard to decide *sigh* They were all by Boys Like Girls in case you're wondering.

With love,
Mel

| 10:40 am

Public Holidays Must Die

AHH! My mum is driving me INSANE. I swear, she completely ignores me until I fuck up and then she gets all parental on my ass. Ok, I have the annoying habit of taking stuff into my room and leaving nothing outside, I kinda deserved to be yelled at for that. But seriously though, now I think things are going a bit too far.

I just went and ate noodles I found in the fridge. Mum was on the computer which is right next to the kitchen. I said out loud;

"Can I eat the noodles?"

-silence-

"Alright, that's a yes then. I'm just going to eat them..."

So I take the noodles out of their box; making heaps of noise because they were almost frozen solid; then I chuck the suckers in the microwave and heat 'em up. When that's done, I take them out, get me a fork and my mum says;

"Are you eating the noodles? Who said you could eat the noodles?"

*sigh* you just cannot do anything right in this house. Who wouldn't be driven crazy by that? She yelled at me, but I ignored her and ate the noodles anyway. I win

Everybody just GO BACK TO WORK ALREADY. I love you all but you're driving me crazy! Just let me study in peace!

Ok, I'm not mad anymore

Love,
Mel

Sunday, 10 June 2007 | 10:30 am

Discombobulation

Oh, my incredible wit and intellect cracks me up sometimes. Pity nobody else knows what the hell I'm laughing about. Discombobulation get it? Discom-....on never mind.

I had a funny dream last night. I dreamed I was helping a guy with his chemistry homework, question 42 and 43 on his practice exam paper. I remember sneaking looks at him, then I told him I couldn't stop looking at him because he was so hot (haha, sounds like me). He said he kept sneakily looking at someone too, and I remember feeling sad because that person wasn't me. Well I assumed it wasn't me. I woke up before I could find out who it was. I have strange dreams, like the one where Vikram rolled a rock on Tara's step-grandma. There is also THIS dream and THIS dream. (Click on the this')

When I woke up, I picked up all my dirty clothes and took them to the laundry. On the way, I told my mum I was getting sick and you know what she said? She said, "You're not washing those clothes now! What a waste of water!"

There is SO not enough sympathy in this house.

Anyway, Jeremy just reminded me I have an exam in two days, how very kind of him. The next two things he said were "i have to go to work" and "by the way, we were planning on singeing your eyebrows off" (or something along those lines). Then he went offline! WHAT THE HELL? Who were planning to singe my eyebrows off? You can't just say something like that and not give me any details!

I LIKE my eyebrows, I go to a lot of effort to make my eyebrows look nice, YOU CAN'T JUST BURN THEM OFF! I was confused for awhile, but then I realized Ashwyn must have been the co-conspirator because we're all sleeping over at Rowena's house after the formal and none of my girlfriends would DARE attempt to mar my great beauty because they're all too nice.

I will interrogate that bastard (hehe) when he gets back.

Love,
Mel

Saturday, 9 June 2007 | 11:58 am

If my rage produced heat...

..I would be able to fuel a jet pack trip 3 times around the Earth, and still have enough to keep we warm as I WAITED OUTSIDE IN THE FREEZING COLD FOR 45 MINUTES!

Grr...after 45 minutes I was really really angry and started walking home. My dad picked me up on the way, once he realized I wasn't waiting outside my piano teacher's house anymore. He was pretty pissed and yelled,

"WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING YOUR MOBILE PHONE?!?"

I hollered back,

"WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK ME UP AT 11:00?!?"

He shut up after that and I'm not that mad anymore. Haha

Mel

Friday, 8 June 2007 | 5:01 pm

You wanna see me get ugly huh? HUH?

So I'm sitting on the bus, innocently reading the ads (cleverly) placed on the roof right?

Some random crazy dude says: "You're ugly. You're so ugly I don't even want to harrass you, and I like harassing young girls. I get off on harassing young girls. I'll perve on Tara instead, even though she's got a black boyfriend!"

And I say...

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME UGLY? Grrrrr" (and making no attempt whatsoever to save Tara from the pedophile)

"You wanna fight me don't you? Come on then, bring it!"
I proceed to beat the crazy guy to a pulp.

"That's what you get for calling me ugly!" (um..."that's what you get for harassing my friends!" is what I MEANT to say...)

A few weeks later, when I look much hotter, the same guy tries to harass me (I mean...us)...

Me: "Oh, so you want me to rearrange your FACE again? Sure thing, I'd be happy to!"

Then the crazy guy pulls out a knife
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Oh. Ummmm.....nevermind!"
Ok that's not really what happened. I just wanted to justify taking TWENTY SEVEN photos of myself making stupid faces. I was also mucking around with my eyeliner and kind of screwed up with my left eye so I turned it into something else...

It's cool! You're just jealous because you don't have a swirly thing!
My other eye is different because I was lazy and I drew flicky things on it in pencil :) Just so you know that I'm not completely self-absorbed, here is a picture of my earrings!

You like, you like?

With love (and how i LOVE myself),
Mel

Pee.ess - Tara, you know I'd throw myself in front of a moving train for you! But only if it doesn't wreck my hair, which Matt said was pretty again today. He's so sweet, I like him SO much the little suck-up.

Thursday, 7 June 2007 | 5:12 pm

Who YOU callin' ugly?

Someone said I was ugly today, but more on that later. It's a long and...amusing (?) story.

I had my chem exam today. I remember this time last year I was stressing out and studying really really hard for all SIX of my exams. This year I only have three, not including the GAT. I was pretty calm about it, I mean, once you start doing a Unit 3 and 4 subject, it puts everything into perspective. Instead, I played piano like a maniac to avoid reading my textbook. I had first period Chinese then NOTHING until my exam. Geez, if there wasn't an exam I would've had a one period day and finished school at 9:30!

Chinese was really boring as usual. Jeremy said he was going to wag and tell Mr. Yu I tricked him into thinking there was no class. Not funny! Why does everyone think I'm up to something?!? Even Mr. Yu thinks I have a 'shifty' mind (I thought he said 'shitty' haha).

The exam started at 1:15 and finished at 2:55. I thought it would be SO much harder because the practice test was really difficult. I finished with 10 minutes to spare and had time to check over my entire paper before submitting it so it's all good. Didn't really need to study that hard. I bet the end of year exam will be extremely difficult because the chem teachers like playing jokes like that. Oh well, I will have time to study for them because by then, my year 12 exams will be over.

Matt (aka Tod) said I had pretty hair. I like Matt. He's so nice even thought I know he's totally sucking up. Matt's cool!!! :)

On the bus from school to Box Hill, there was this crazy guy. He got chatting to Tara and Ashwyn. He asked them if they were brother and sister or girlfriend and boyfriend. I'm so glad Ashwyn was sitting closest to him because he was really freaky. He asked them stuff like if they'd had sex yet and if they were planning on getting married. He told Ashwyn he'd got the prettiest girl (out of Tara, Rowena and I) and if he were Ashwyn, he would've picked the same girl. Then he said Rowena was pretty too...and I was...UGLEEEEEEEE!!!! *sniffsniff* Crazy guy said I was ugly! Ouch, my ego just died. Ashwyn turned to me and asked me about 'Question 11' on the exam and then whispered "I'm finding it really hard to ignore him". Haha.

Then he went on to say he didn't have a girlfriend because he was too old (At the ripe old age of thirty-eight? Somebody should tell him why he really doesn't have a girlfriend; he's bloody NUTS). He got talking to the random guy behind me saying if he were a millionaire then girls wouldn't give a f*&k what he looked like, just like prostitutes; throw some money at them and they'd "do you". Then they talked about what kind of diseases prostitutes probably had and how he wouldn't make it to forty if he slept with the prostitutes down at St. Kilda.

It was really hard trying not to laugh. Rowena had tears in her eyes from the strain of with-held laughter and I had a weird quasi smile on my face. I finally burst out laughing because it was just so...weird. Tara kept giving me mortified looks and Ashwyn was grinning like a maniac. It was pretty funny though. Like Rowena said, it's a good thing he wasn't stroking our arms and interrogating us.

I can't get over the fact that the crazy guy thought I was ugly! I mean, as a general rule, crazy people are less inhibited and more inclined to tell the truth right? So what if I really am ugly? Jordan said:

"It depends what kind of mental illness they have, like you for example. You have the ugly illness..."

AHH! I'm not ugly! I want to live the rest of my life in denial. Don't tell me these things...I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! Well anyway, crazy people tell their OWN kind of truth. Somebody out there thinks I'm pretty...somebody.

*cue 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' music*

With love,
Mel

Pee.ess - I ate an entire 200g block of chocolate yesterday. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling slightly ill, but then I rolled over and went back to sleep. I probably won't eat as much chocolate today, I don't think it's very good for my health.

----------edit----------
In retrospect, it's probably a GOOD thing the crazy person thought I was unattractive....

Wednesday, 6 June 2007 | 7:20 pm

I hate this feeling (I hate YOU)

You look at me like I'm the dumbest, ugliest thing you've ever seen. You talk to me like I'm not worth the waste of breath, that's IF you talk to me at all. I know you had every right to be angry, but it was so long ago. How can I apologize to someone who won't even speak to me. I'm sorry...I'm SORRY! Why can't we just be friends? Why can't you just forgive me?

When I'm alone, I resolve to hate you. I promise myself that I'll walk away every time you are near. I'll stop trying to be your friend. Just stop...everything. But when you're around...oh...I can't do it. What right do you have to be so damn good-looking, it's so not fair.

Maybe it's for the best. Maybe we were meant to hate each other. I don't get it though, what makes me different from everyone else? Why choose me to hate, I'm sure there are people out there more annoying than I (though you'd be hard-pressed to actually find someone). Am I just not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, or all of the above? Or is it just that you don't care about me, even though I so obviously care about you?

I hate you! I hate you for making me feel vulnerable. I hate you for making me feel worthless. I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you...but I can't seem to get you out of my bloody head. I think I will crawl under a rock and die now. This is all your fault.

Thank God for retail therapy. I bought a pair of earrings and I felt so much better. Nice red ones to match my formal dress. Oh, I also have 2 blocks of chocolate, an entire tub of ice-cream and Bernie. Stuff you, I don't need you in my life.


Mel

Pee.ess - I don't really hate you...am I forgiven yet?

Tuesday, 5 June 2007 | 10:11 pm

Lovely two period days

I only had two periods today (I thought Chinese was canceled)! I went home at 10:30! Chan, Ying, Tara, Kymbat and I went to Box Hill to look at jewelry. I had to get my dress altered and I'll be getting it back next Tuesday. Chan came with me, and everyone else walked in on me while I was getting fitted. Gah, they're so embarrassing! I had my school socks on and everything! Nobody wanted to dance down the escalators with me so I danced by myself and got a lot of dirty looks from the people who thought I was nuts.

After we had lunch, we went to Kymbat's house where we all took turns to be her makeup guinea pigs whilst trying to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire out of the corner of our eyes. Kymbat made me look pretty :). Tara and Kymbat both put on their formal dresses to show us. They both looked so beautiful! I can't wait for the formal because it means NO MORE EXAMS FOR FOUR MORE MONTHS! While Tara was changing into her dress, I danced around and Tara said, "I can hear you Mel" because I'm such an enthusiastic dancer and I made a lot of noise haha.

Kymbat has an awesome double storey house with giant windows at the front on the second floor. I was dancing across there, singing happy music when I realized people could probably see me from the construction site a few roads down so I stopped and danced downstairs instead. Tara and I went home and I've been doing past year papers since then.

Victor told me just before, that Chan, Ying and I didn't actually have our Chinese double off so we just accidentally wagged period 3 and four ><. Mr Yu asked who the ringleader was and everyone said it was MEEEE *cries* I didn't do anything! I'm going to fail chemistry. I haven't started actually STUDYING yet and the exam is on Thursday. I'll do it tomorrow I promise! I'm going to bed now because I'm really tired. Goodnight ! Mel

Monday, 4 June 2007 | 9:18 pm

What makes me sick

Yeah ok, this is my second post of the day. So what, not my fault I can't seem to stop thinking. I'm writing this so I can avoid reading my chem textbook, I know I'll regret it later but...who cares.

I just watched a clip from Saving Private Ryan where a sniper gunned down an American soldier. I literally felt sick to my stomach and the feeling is not going away even though its been over 5 minutes. It's not the blood. Blood doesn't bother me, I can dissect rats without flinching. Besides, I'm a girl...we literally bleed once a month. What sickens me is how unnecessary it all is. Next you're going to tell me it's just a movie, but things like that go on ALL the time. War is completely unnecessary. The whole concept disgusts me, I guess I'll never understand the politics behind it. All I can see is people dying for somebody else's war. I finished reading The Quiet American by Graham Greene for the second time, I suppose that kind of swayed me.

Fowler was a reporter and he'd seen so many terrible things, but promised he'd never take sides. Not until he watched the aftermath of a bomb organized by his 'friend' Pyle, a "young idealistic American sent to promote democracy through a mysterious 'Third Force'." The bomb was supposed to go off during a parade; where it was likely to kill important French colonels; but the parade had been canceled. Instead, the bomb went off during a busy shopping hour and killed mothers and children. Pyle couldn't even recognize the blood on his shoe for what it was, he'd never seen it before.

"Unlike them, I had a reason for thankfulness, for wasn't Phuong alive? Hadn't Phuong been 'warned'? But what I remembered was the torso in the square, the baby on its mother's lap. They had not been warned: they had not been sufficiently important. And if the parade had taken place would they not have been there just the same, out of curiosity, to see the soldiers, and hear the speakers, and throw the flowers? A two-hundred-pound bomb does not discriminate. How many dead colonels justify a child's or trishaw driver's death when you are building a national democratic front?" - Fowler, The Quiet American by Graham Greene

Couldn't have put it better myself.

Well I'm going to wreck the novel for you, but Fowler ends up helping the communists kill Pyle because of his naivety.

"What's the good? He'll always be innocent, you can't blame the innocent, they are always guiltless. All you can do is control them or eliminate them. Innocence is a kind of insanity." - Fowler, The Quiet American by Graham Greene

Pyle had an innocent belief in General The and the Third Force. Much like how communism looks good when philosophized by Marx, but in practice is a piece of shite (that is as close as I'm getting to a swear word on here). That's not the only reason Fowler got involved, but the other is not relevant so I'll ignore it. It's a lot more complicated than my brief (*coughcough*) description. If you're curious go read the book yourself!

It's interesting to note that Graham Greene was a Catholic. I read a friend-of-Audrey's blog commenting on a quote from this book about death and saying he couldn't understand it.

"Lose life and one would lose nothing again forever...Death was far more certain than God...The nightmare of a future of boredom and indifference would lift...To kill a man was to surely grant him an immeasurable benefit..." - Fowler, The Quiet American by Graham Greene.

I can't remember his name, I feel bad for just mentioning him here without telling him. I was just trying to search for his blog but I can't find it. Um...it had a rainbow background. I'm not targeting him! He was the one that actually inspired me to read the book!

Religion is very topical in The Quiet American, because Fowler was so strongly against it. You kind of have to admire Greene for being able to put so eloquently into words another person's point of view. I don't have a religion, I can (sort of) understand what Graham Greene was trying to say. It probably means different things for each individual. It's hard to believe Greene still had a religion if he felt that way though.

"Oh yes, people always, everywhere, loved their enemies. It was their friends they preserved for pain and vacuity." -Fowler, The Quiet American by Graham Greene

In the context of the book it makes sense. The 'friends' he was referring to were all the women he had left behind, like his wife. Fowler believed that death was the ultimate freedom, and freedom was what he wanted the most. To kill your enemies would be a blessing by releasing them from all worldly pain. For his friends: he did not want them to die, it was to his friends he had caused the most hurt; and yet he did not wish death upon them, hence saving them "for pain and vacuity". It does make sense; in a sick, twisted way.

Death as a form of freedom is not what I believe in. War is wrong. All violence is completely unnecessary. People are getting blown to bits and I can't do anything about it.

I feel sick.

Mel

----------edit----------
Ok, I found the guys blog. His name is Isaac. Check out the post I was referring to here. We all have different views. Thanks Isaac.

Pee.ess - I promise you guys that one day I will learn the art of condensation. Until then, you will probably have to suffer through many more long and boring rants of a procrastinating Chem student. Um, also, Victor has a blog, show support and click here.

| 5:27 pm

You can tell I'm depressed....

...when I play the Funeral March repeatedly. Or at least, that's what I would've done, had I found it amongst my vast collection of random classical works. I had to settle for Chopin's nocturnes instead, which are very dramatic (more than Fields' ones) and pretty depressing. Didn't sound very good because I hammered away at it in anger and broke a few strings (ala Shine style). By the way, does anybody have a CD of all of those, preferably by someone who knows what they're doing? I feel like listening to them...repeatedly.

Anyway, I woke up this morning feeling optimistic. I had the first three periods free so I got up late and did a bit of homework before going to school. On the way down the escalators from the bus station, the t.v screen said that Pisces people would achieve success if they think creatively. *smile* Sounds optimistic doesn't it. I arrived at school in a good mood!

Mr. Yu didn't turn up for class so I had fourth period free as well, that was good. I should have just went home after that, everything went downhill from there. Actually, nothing went downhill, just my mood (for no reason whatsoever, I just get moody sometimes). Stupid damn mean people. I give up, there's just no talking to some people, especially when they pretend you don't exist. Bastard.

On the bus, I pressed the stop button and nothing happened. I pressed all FOUR stop buttons up the back...and nothing! So I went to the front and the bus driver missed my stop. I told him the buttons up the back weren't working...HE IGNORED ME! I was standing right behind him and HE IGNORED ME! Then when he stopped the bus, he started talking to me and forgot to open the door. So I just stood there nodding my head, hoping the PSYCHOTIC bus driver would LET ME OFF!!! Totally your worst nightmare...if it were 2am, nobody else on the bus and fluorescent blue lighting for the drug-addicted. I had to walk up the hill and everyone on the bus was laughing at me.

As of...10 minutes ago I was playing lots of depressing music on the piano. Wondering when my mum and bro would get home. I thought maybe she'd decided to get a divorce and had left the country with my brother (don't ask...I have strange and irrational fears). Well that nearly happened...the divorce I mean (not the 'fleeing the country' part). Turns out they were late because my brother had to get a haircut. Well...I was close enough. I stopped playing piano then because most of my piano playing is accompanied by really loud humming and singing. I'm weird :)

You know, I feel better now! This writing things out stuff really works!

On a happier note, I watched the Brady Bunch Movie yesterday!

Sunshine Day (very crap quality, but you get the idea)



I think tomorrow I will try and co-erce my friends into doing that with me on the Box Hill escalators. I've been doing that dance all day singing my own backing music haha. You gotta love...

the intro song...MUAHAHA


Ok, that is IT from me. I know you love the Brady Bunch, you just pretend not to so you don't look as lame as me (the person who has a crush on Michael Buble)

With sunshine love,
Mel


Sunday, 3 June 2007 | 7:47 pm

Family get-together

I had Chinese school, grabbed a coffee from the Glen during the lunch break. That's all I remember. I tried doing homework when I got home, but surfed the net instead, then my cousins San san and Pun pun came over. Watched t.v and played with them all afternoon. Ate dinner at David and Camy's. Mmmm good food. I loooove my cousins so much. They're just so CUTE! My other cousin (who's really old) came with his wife and daughter too. Everyone knows how little David and Camey's is, it was actually pretty embarrassing because we took up so much space. I managed to knock over a few things, but the waiter dropped soup in my shoe! Oh well, he can get away with it because he's hot.

Anyway, that's pretty much it. I can't stop looking at/touching my formal dress. I'm going to post a picture of it so you know what it looks like. There's no point trying to get the same one guys! We all know I'm going to wear it better! Haha just kidding.

Mmm...yes it cost like...over $100 bucks....(not)

Yes I know your jealous. NOBODY BUY THE SAME ONE...(or I'll cry). Yay! Getting it altered on Tuesday so I can finally look good in it!

With love,
Mel

Saturday, 2 June 2007 | 9:30 pm

Shopping!

Enthusiasm is contagious. I had my piano lesson this morning so I woke up early. I was so excited because I was going to Bridge Road with Rowena to buy a formal dress! I drove all the way there, I'm so proud. We only had about 2 hours to shop so we started off at a pretty brisk pace. When it was nearly three, I started to panic because I still hadn't found anything. We went to this Asian shop whose name I have forgotten. I tried on three dresses which were all pretty good.

Two of them were the same style but in different colours (one red & black, one white & black). The white one was size 8 the red size 10 so obviously the white one fit better, but it still would've have needed altering so I just got the red one. I'm going to get it altered on Tuesday when I have a double free. Man, hope it all works out okay!

I also got a coat because it looks really cool! I wanted to get a bright red one in the same style, except the size was Medium instead of small so I just got a cream one instead. Oh well. Still looks good. I'm SO going back there again. I wish I had more money so I could buy more clothes!

Man, the school uniform makes me feel so unfeminine. It's so baggy it makes me look like a boy. That's why I like wearing the skirt, even though it's bloody cold now. I can't wait till the formal so I can 'let my hair down' and get all girly and pretty. I still need to get shoes and jewelry. Also have to organize hair and makeup! AHH! Sometimes I wish I was naturally beautiful *sigh*. What they say is true, looking at magazines really lowers your self-esteem, even though you know the models have been airbrushed to within an inch of their lives. Depressing. Well getting dressed up will be fun!

Watching Shrek now, and hoping the laptop won't run out of batteries. Wow that was a boring post, I'm just going to keep watching Shrek.

With love,
Mel

Friday, 1 June 2007 | 10:42 pm

The Crucible

Sorry for the recent lack of posts. I've been so busy, what with my cousins being here and having all the SACS due this week. It's the last week of Unit One and Three! Next Thursday I have my chemistry exam and the week after I have my biology, literature and the GAT exams.

On Sunday I went to the biology lecture and had dinner at David and Camey's restaurant (my new favourite despite being closed down once before for health and safety reasons). On Monday night, I drove all the way to Chelsea to have dinner with my cousins family. Tuesday night I did homework, Wednesday night did even MORE homework, last night I finished my bio SAC and emailed it in at 1.am. Phew, tiring stuff.

This evening I went and watched The Crucible, a school production. No doubt the school magazine will call it amazing and say stuff like it was a sell-out and it was another brilliant effort by the Box Hill High School team. What else can they say? Luckily for me, I'm allowed to speak my mind. That's not to say it was a complete flop, but many improvements could have been made.

I did a bit of research on the play, after I watched it so my opinion wouldn't be swayed. I feel that most of the characters lacked depth. The series of events that ended in the death of John Procter were highly complex. The torturous choice between loyalty to God and loyalty to one's own life were under-dramatized (for want of a better word). Especially the character of Mr Hale (the minister who was a specialist in witchcraft), in the beginning, he was sure there was witchcraft going on in the town of Salem, by the end, he was a broken man, pulled down by all the hangings he thought were unjust, attempting to convince people to lie to themselves (and God) to save their lives. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore Matt Guy (Mr Hale), he's such a sweetie! Sometimes though, he could have been more expressive.

Most of the actors have been acting for quite a while. Very professional (so it seems) and most are very good at acting, BUT, many forgot their lines. Just when the scene was heating up; not to name names; Mr DANFORTH had to be prompted on very man, obvious occasions. I can see how that would be easy to do though, what with the difficult and unfamiliar language involved.

I won't say much more than that, the plot line was very good and I cried (as usual). I wish I could act. After seeing one of the school productions, I always feel inspired to do something. Hah! But I'm a crappy actor. Oh, I'm very DRAMATIC at times, but that's just part of who I am (which is oh so very different from acting).

I have a long day tomorrow, shopping for formal dress then studying my arse off for exams. I'm off!

With love,
Mel