Wednesday, 9 May 2007 | 11:17 pm
Nerd's Eye View
That itching burning feeling I have...
is not herpes, but nearly as infectious (what is with this fixation on STDs? Must be that cervical cancer immunization coming up...). No, I have the itching burning feeling to BLOG, BLOG, BLOG. Go ahead, call me an addictive personality, I don't care! It's better to be addicted to blogging than addicted to say, drugs or alcohol. I should be studying, I have so much homework! But what the hey, can't concentrate, I need a hit NOW.
The topic of today is not STDs, addictions or itching burning feelings. The topic is in fact DATING. Seems pretty topical seeing as most of my friends are currently hooking up with other people (note - I use the term people loosely. They could be male, female, androgynous or...reptilian. Heh just kidding). Ok, I admit, this is another essay about ME, ME and ME (and MY opinion). Ready? Here we go. My reasons to not date in order of importance. If you qualify for any one of these, you're screwed. But don't give up hope just yet!
I would not go out with a guy...
1. my friends have liked or have DATED
Sorry, morally wrong. Of course, I'm not saying it's not possible for me to break moral codes, but the notion disturbs me on two levels. Firstly, it feels as if you're betraying that friend's trust. Even if they say its okay, I would still avoid that person as much as possible (short of sinking into the ground when they walk past). Mates before dates guys! Secondly, EW. Just EW! I mean, your friend has probably done all manner of things with this guy. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GO THERE? Think about it (or not...if you want to hold your dinner).
2. who is a STALKER (wow, there goes a lot of guys)
Anil told me who his crush is (teehee so cute). I won't say who but she's very pretty and Asian, as we all know, those two go hand in hand :). On Barbecue Wednesday (more like Ash Wednesday haha) he asked Rowena and I if he should call her every night for a week before asking her out. I said no, and I think Rowena said yes. I told Tara this (Anil's her little year 9 brother) and she asked me what kind of guy I would go out with. Well, if you are a stalker, I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU. I also include clingy, 'annoying to get my attention the only way they know how' people under this large large umbrella. Go away, find someone your own age.
3. who has really really bad body odour
Personal hygiene is important dearies. When your mum told you to brush your teeth and take showers she WASN'T JOKING! Please DO brush your teeth and take REGULAR showers! Saying "but I showered last month" will NOT make me like you any better. Today I had to endure 45 mins of extended torture in Bio for this very reason! I wouldn't want to have to cringe every time you open your mouth, let alone KISS YOU *shudders*
4. who is up-himself or is your general unsavoury character
I like slapping people like that (aww, I'm so mean), I'm pretty sure that wouldn't lead to a very healthy relationship. I don't think of you guys would appreciate it if I slapped you for being an annoying b@#&@^d so it's in your best interests to keep away.
5. who has no sense of humour, cannot take a hint and simply cannot communicate
I am generally what you would call an uncommunicative person, ok not really. I like to talk, but only if talking to you is worth the time. Blunt but true. Girl does not like thinking up new things to say. Girl is lazy. Girl wants YOU to make effort. Hmm...I wouldn't date anyone who couldn't speak good English either, for the very same reason. If you can't read this, leave me alone.
6. who is a really good friend/childhood friend/family friend
For the obvious one, it could wreck the relationship. The second, as Ning said at church camp, there is a tiny space of time in which going out with that person is a possibility. After that, NO FREAKING WAY. You just know that person too well and they become like...a family member. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww....*washes mouth out with soap*
7. because I hate you for liking me already
Give up man, just give up. I'm way too hard to get.
Having said all that, it's no wonder nobody wants to go out with me. My standards are just way to high. I have met only two guys that aren't any of the above. You have to be just as perfect as them ok? If not, there are much nicer, prettier, smarter girls than me out there. Don't be sad, there's a lot of girls at MacRob you can try.
Complete change of topic. My day was no fun. I wasn't kidding when I said biology was torture. In lit, Sebastien and Mayo kept slapping me, and Sebz was stroking my leg while leaning on Tara.
Tara: "Why don't you lean on Mel?"
Sebz: *starts leaning my direction*
Me: *raises fist*
Sebz: *stops moving, looks at fist then at Tara* "You see...she's violent"
That's pretty much how it went. There was also a surprise Methods test. I can't remember anything else. I will leave you now, I'm tired and need to SLEEP!
With love,
Mel
is not herpes, but nearly as infectious (what is with this fixation on STDs? Must be that cervical cancer immunization coming up...). No, I have the itching burning feeling to BLOG, BLOG, BLOG. Go ahead, call me an addictive personality, I don't care! It's better to be addicted to blogging than addicted to say, drugs or alcohol. I should be studying, I have so much homework! But what the hey, can't concentrate, I need a hit NOW.
The topic of today is not STDs, addictions or itching burning feelings. The topic is in fact DATING. Seems pretty topical seeing as most of my friends are currently hooking up with other people (note - I use the term people loosely. They could be male, female, androgynous or...reptilian. Heh just kidding). Ok, I admit, this is another essay about ME, ME and ME (and MY opinion). Ready? Here we go. My reasons to not date in order of importance. If you qualify for any one of these, you're screwed. But don't give up hope just yet!
I would not go out with a guy...
1. my friends have liked or have DATED
Sorry, morally wrong. Of course, I'm not saying it's not possible for me to break moral codes, but the notion disturbs me on two levels. Firstly, it feels as if you're betraying that friend's trust. Even if they say its okay, I would still avoid that person as much as possible (short of sinking into the ground when they walk past). Mates before dates guys! Secondly, EW. Just EW! I mean, your friend has probably done all manner of things with this guy. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GO THERE? Think about it (or not...if you want to hold your dinner).
2. who is a STALKER (wow, there goes a lot of guys)
Anil told me who his crush is (teehee so cute). I won't say who but she's very pretty and Asian, as we all know, those two go hand in hand :). On Barbecue Wednesday (more like Ash Wednesday haha) he asked Rowena and I if he should call her every night for a week before asking her out. I said no, and I think Rowena said yes. I told Tara this (Anil's her little year 9 brother) and she asked me what kind of guy I would go out with. Well, if you are a stalker, I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU. I also include clingy, 'annoying to get my attention the only way they know how' people under this large large umbrella. Go away, find someone your own age.
3. who has really really bad body odour
Personal hygiene is important dearies. When your mum told you to brush your teeth and take showers she WASN'T JOKING! Please DO brush your teeth and take REGULAR showers! Saying "but I showered last month" will NOT make me like you any better. Today I had to endure 45 mins of extended torture in Bio for this very reason! I wouldn't want to have to cringe every time you open your mouth, let alone KISS YOU *shudders*
4. who is up-himself or is your general unsavoury character
I like slapping people like that (aww, I'm so mean), I'm pretty sure that wouldn't lead to a very healthy relationship. I don't think of you guys would appreciate it if I slapped you for being an annoying b@#&@^d so it's in your best interests to keep away.
5. who has no sense of humour, cannot take a hint and simply cannot communicate
I am generally what you would call an uncommunicative person, ok not really. I like to talk, but only if talking to you is worth the time. Blunt but true. Girl does not like thinking up new things to say. Girl is lazy. Girl wants YOU to make effort. Hmm...I wouldn't date anyone who couldn't speak good English either, for the very same reason. If you can't read this, leave me alone.
6. who is a really good friend/childhood friend/family friend
For the obvious one, it could wreck the relationship. The second, as Ning said at church camp, there is a tiny space of time in which going out with that person is a possibility. After that, NO FREAKING WAY. You just know that person too well and they become like...a family member. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww....*washes mouth out with soap*
7. because I hate you for liking me already
Give up man, just give up. I'm way too hard to get.
Having said all that, it's no wonder nobody wants to go out with me. My standards are just way to high. I have met only two guys that aren't any of the above. You have to be just as perfect as them ok? If not, there are much nicer, prettier, smarter girls than me out there. Don't be sad, there's a lot of girls at MacRob you can try.
Complete change of topic. My day was no fun. I wasn't kidding when I said biology was torture. In lit, Sebastien and Mayo kept slapping me, and Sebz was stroking my leg while leaning on Tara.
Tara: "Why don't you lean on Mel?"
Sebz: *starts leaning my direction*
Me: *raises fist*
Sebz: *stops moving, looks at fist then at Tara* "You see...she's violent"
That's pretty much how it went. There was also a surprise Methods test. I can't remember anything else. I will leave you now, I'm tired and need to SLEEP!
With love,
Mel